Stephen Hubbell: How did you rebel inside yourself, if you don’t mind me asking?
John Saward: At one edge of that, closing all my channels to the outside world.
And then, exploring things like consciousness and examining my thought. Well i suppose actually that process only began in my middle or late teenage years.
I was confused as a child. Very shy. Clinically shy I suppose. Scared. Solitary.
This led me into questioning the communications that were coming to me. So I was not accepting what was being told to me, as true. I could feel it. Intuit it. Feel a duplicity in what was being told to me, in what was being presented to me as honesty and fact.
And, I felt a pressure to accept it as fact. The times I did open up a bit and begin conveying my impression of the duplicity, I felt either ignored or reacted against and discarded.
I got the message. John, your perception is erroneous. Ours is correct because it is the same as many other people’s.
And so outwardly I limited the expression of my perception, because I was fearful, in order to appear compliant to current cultural norms.
But, inwardly my perception was not wavering, it was not falling into line. And that was, and is, my inner rebellion. Maintaining and valuing my own God Given perception.
And now, also the outer. I tell it now, I tell what my own perception is, and that is my Stand. The inner rebellion become outer.
Does that answer your question Stephen Hubbell?