I’ve taken to scanning back through my life in my early morning meditation time. I go way back and do not find a time when anxiety was not the main tendency of my mind.
It does dissipate at times, and over my life I think I have experienced every emotion humans can feel, and times of great relaxation into infinite empty mind, but always the anxiety returns.
As I scan back through my life I don’t really find an underlying single cause for the tendency to be anxious. I can find many examples of trauma that resulted in the anxiety intensifying but none of those trauma seem the ‘root cause’ of it.
My memories don’t really go back beyond about age 5. So I suppose there could be something in particular back there.
I find methods to deal with it, to manage it, to move through it, including the writing habit, but nothing to date has really worked to ‘get rid of it’.
I know many others have similar. I have had many conversations about it, and read a lot, and had professional input. I read that anxiety is one of the most prevalent conditions facing humans right now. So I am not alone in it.
Please do not come at me with your own perception of solutions. I’d rather hear about your own anxiety. Thank you for reading.